Founder Natasha's Menopause Story
When I first heard a doctor say the word ‘menopause’ I wept - even though I knew it was coming. My husband and teenage daughter hugged me as I sobbed because I couldn't have any more children (even though I didn't want any more) and I was officially old and shit. All those years of periods, unprotected sex, missed periods, lost pregnancies, pregnancy tests, ovulation tests, IVF, surprise blue lines. Fertility in all her guises had ruled my life forever and I didn’t know anything else.
After a scan to confirm that my ovaries were on the turn I hit the NHS to find out exactly what I could look forward to. Anxiety, mood swings, brain fog, hot flushes and irregular periods - check, check, check - but for something major that’s going to affect roughly half the population on the planet I was surprised at just how clinical everything I was reading felt. I could of course enjoy the wine o'clock/menopause memes going round on my what's app groups, but let's face it, the real conversation hadn’t really started in 2018.
Things have changed a lot since then - it really feels like women struggling with menopause symptoms are starting to find a space for their voices to be heard. Women who have felt invisible and unheard in the workplace and at home are starting to be taken seriously. It’s early days but the conversation really has begun. For me perimenopause has felt like endless days of PMS. Really, really bad PMS. My husband used to be able to predict, to the day, my period was due because of my mood - stay away/don't touch me/I’m fat/I hate everything/buy me chocolate NOW - that kind of vibe. And now it was relentless. I started having meltdowns, tantrums really. I attacked the children’s toy box with a broom one day, tore my daughters favourite teddy bear to shreds another*.
I wasn’t very nice. It pains me to remember. I felt I had no control over my emotions anymore and, as with so many menopause stories, a friend recommended I talk to my doctor about HRT. I had a Mirena coil fitted and started on patches - the relief came and the beast was calmed. HRT worked for me because I needed it. It's not forever I hope.
Since Sarah Curran and I launched Just Hotter the feedback has been consistent - this is a good thing - women need to talk about how they are feeling, to share stories, to recommend products that have worked for them and the people around them need to understand how they can help their loved ones on the menopause journey. I’ve never read, talked, thought about or said the word menopause so much as I have in the last few months, and sometimes the voice in my head says - am I saying too much? But then the voice that represents the misunderstanding and ignorance women have had to endure for so long says - I’m not saying enough. Let’s start the conversation here. *Teddy Bear has now made a full recovery*
